Monday, 25 June 2007

The Monkey and the Banana

In her heart of hearts, Gladys Tilman knew that employing Dennis had been a mistake. She looked resolutely out of her 22nd floor office window, over the rooftops of the Upper-East side, and sighed heavily; mist clouded the windowpane, and obscured the beautiful day outside.

Owning a successful Manhattan business was never easy; particularly one of after all, "Tilly's Willies" was hardly salubrious, and drew criticism from figures of authority throughout the state. It was merely a matter of taste, she had thought.
Taking a pen from her novelty desk-tidy, she shuffled to her desk and sitting down, began to recount the events of that uncomfortable day. The thoughts tumbled from her brain, as she wrote every word down; keen to stop the rumors once and for all.

"Dennis arrived at the company in the fall of '28. His scruffy suit, and ill-manners made him no different from the other bozos I come across in this rotten city. Still, he wanted to work in the business, and made no bones about it. I stuck a gramophone record on, asked him to show me what he could do, and he began to do his show.

'I'm not going to lie, school for me wasn't easy, and I never did do well in class, but there was something different about this kid, and ol' Gladys can always spot a hustler from twenty yards. You don't need book-learning to know that much.

'The kid was a monkey. He'd come in, all making out to be human 'n all, when really, he was one of those immigrants from the continent of wherever-the-hell-it-is. I guess the fur was a giveaway, but you get some hairy guys in this business, and ol' Gladys likes to be accommodating to all tastes. Here at Tilly's Willies, we provide a service. In the same way that the rooty-tooty men like their broads to jump out of cakes at birthday parties and take their clothes off, we offer dames the chance to see the same. 'Cept it's a guy what jumps out of a cake. It doesnt have to be a cake; sometimes we have them dress up as the fuzz, and the girls love it! You could have knocked ol' Gladys down with a feather when she realised she could make some scratch through naked men, but that's what I did. And I'm the best in town.

'I let Dennis work for me. Mistake number one. It's not like I got him to do the stripping; New York ain't ready for that yet, and I sure as hell ain't ready to unleash that on the people, but I got the monkey to work in my costume department. Mistake number two. He was a hit with the fellas, and would fit them up with their new rags.. until his eyesight began to get worse, that is.

'I guess me writing this is mostly to try to get people to stop rumoring about my place. For that reason, I'm going to tell you about the time the monkey grasped the wrong "banana." I guess you already heard about that though, probably off some punk; but Gladys is gonna lay things straight for you. Starting with Dennis' addiction to bananas.."


Blogger danny said...

You. legend.

25 June 2007 at 19:31

Blogger danny said...

what the hell is that at the top?

27 June 2007 at 00:30

Blogger Cal said...

It's the view from the island I'll be on in the dad's moving up to Scotland (Iona) to work for three years, so it'll be my half-home!

Should be rather nice

27 June 2007 at 00:34

Blogger danny said...

cool. I wonder what the blogging scene is like there?

27 June 2007 at 01:07


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