Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Space Invaders

George Bush, basking in the reddish glow of his own self-worth, has bewildered even more people recently. He's stepping up his space defenses, in order to "deliver a payload" to anywhere on Earth within two hours. (Basically means killing a heap of people, but sounds less bad.)

I love this; didn't the USA just shout Iran down, because apparently the small country was a threat to world stability? I'm pretty sure a whole heap of nuclear weapons pointing at the earth would probably be slightly more of a worry. In fact, the country I'm MOST scared of right now is the USA....if anyone's going to wipe us from the universe, I'm willing to bet it'll be them. And I'm bound to get fantastic odds.

Who does Bush think he is? Darth Vader? He's worryingly close to becoming him - all he'd need to do is rename the project "Operation Death Star" and he'd be there. Bush used to be a lovable ragamuffin - the village idiot, who's amusing, yet seemingly harmless (obviously ignoring Iraq. He does that quite well now too.) But I think he's really determined to become some kind of world-destroying pantomime villain; a sort of Voldemort-meets-Jafar.

But luckily, the US economy is going from strength to strength, and will cope perfectly with all these bizarre moon-missions and space-invasions....Oh...maybe not. But it's ok, because if America has a recession, they'll still be able to blow up the world.

Good news recently too, as Gordon Brown, (who clearly hasn't seen Love Actually) has said that the USA are "our best mate". I reckon every time Gordy tries to put his foot down, Bush just gently reminds him that Britain would be first to be blown up, followed swiftly by Mexico.

Oh, and it probably goes against The Outer Space Treaty, which talks about the weaponisation of space, yada-yada-yada, but it's ok, because they're America. If you disagree, they'll blow you up.

And your Mum.

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