Woops.

Hi! Welcome to my (apparently) bi-annual blog. Here's some facts about me and my last six months.

I like margherita pizzas, but am not a fan of most of the other varieties... I find them too busy.

I recently took out a new phone contract, and as a result won an xbox 360! Only it wasn't a competition, and I'm now paying through the nose for a contract that I didn't realise also involves paying for a games console. Hilariously I already have an xbox, so I've now got two. If you want to buy an xbox, get in touch. (It's really fun)

I'm still paying for my old phone contract, as the nice lady at O2 didn't cancel the contract. To add insult to (significant) financial injury, they send all letters addressed to "Mrs Calum King" which tell me I owe them a lot of money. Teehee! Gits.

Other than paying a phone company to cast aspersions on my gender, I'm also in the process of moving from Scotland, my safe haven away from all the stupidity of phone contracts, and rent, and the X Factor, and Britain's Got Talent, and London 2012, and bloody New Moon, so that's fun. I won't be on the island of Iona any more, but will be blogging (ha) from either Britain or Australia, depending on which side the coin lands.

I've also got 10,000 words to write for next week on three hilariously difficult philosophical conundrums. If anyone knows about Frege and his role in the history of Analytic Philosophy, do you want to be my friend? I won't be nice to you and will essentially use you for your brain... I hope that's ok.

On the bright side, I'm becoming really sarcastic and bitter, so hopefully I'll be able to release an excellent posthumous autobiography, when the time comes. I think I'll call it:

"You're all a bunch of bastards and I'm glad my grandson poisoned me."

Peace and Love,

Cal